Deranged Untitled Fic
by WaJB
Summary: This is complete stupidity on my part...there will be: PWP, naked G boys...and that's all really...


As JtML rusts on the desktop folder of J.B's computer, an anomaly pops up in Word…  
  
  
  
Untitled QWxDC fic  
  
?? What's this? There aren't supposed to be any fics written except JtML!!   
  
…What about No Red Letters?   
  
…There's also that OTHER fic – Ner – shhhh!!!  
  
What's going on??  
  
An untitled QWxDC fic has popped up!  
  
Can we stop it??  
  
No, it's already beginning to form in her deranged mind!!  
  
God help us all!!  
  
………………………………………………  
  
"I want a divorce."  
  
"What?"  
  
"We're not working out. You know this is the right thing to do."  
  
"But - "  
  
"No! Ever since you went to L4 you haven't been the same."  
  
"Let me at least explain - "  
  
"I know about her! That tramp from your office! You didn't delete your voice messages, dear."  
  
Dorothy Catalonia stared at the TV's harsh glare as 'The Days of the Beautiful' turned her mind into chicken fodder. What was she doing watching daytime TV?! Before she could contemplate how she got here instead of where she was before (I have no idea where that was), a pink bunny ran across the room. Normally Dorothy would not be nonplussed. These things happened frequently in the mind of such a deranged fic writer, only today it was different. For one thing the pink bunny was running across the room on the ceiling, not the floor like a normal demented bunny…  
  
"Ummm…" Before Dorothy could utter another non-word, Duo ran past where she was sitting inches from the TV screen. Naked. Did I forget to mention that? Well he was. Running across the room naked being chased by hundreds of pink bunnies.   
  
Now this was normal, Dorothy thought as the last bunny left the room leaving her alone with the TV soap and a few Easter eggs.   
  
"Dorothy?"  
  
Dorothy realizing her cue, stood up, gracefully dumping the Easter eggs into a basket that had magically popped up and turned to face her speaker.   
  
"Quat – Relena?"  
  
Feeling rather silly that she had somehow mistaken Relena for Quatre she faced the other girl with a slight frown, since laughing at Relena's attire of Little Bo Peep was out of the question.  
  
"What are you doing here, Relena? This is an Untitled QWxDC fic."  
  
"Tell me about it. I nearly got run over by gold Porsches and these swords out in the hall tried to stab me." Relena put down her sheep herding stick, sat down on the plush couch and put her dainty feet up onto the glass coffee table. "Do you know why I'm in this attire?"  
  
Shaking her head, Dorothy wandered over to Relena and sat on the couch with her, propping her feet up as well. "I'm dressed normally…except this Cinq uniform doesn't quite fit as well as it should after five years."  
  
"Do you think the author has had a nervous breakdown?" Relena asked worriedly. "She might kill Heero. Every writer always does that, even if it's just to bring him back as a vampire."  
  
"Nah…unless…Well Duo just ran by naked with a hundred pink bunnies chasing him."  
  
"But that happens all the time!"  
  
"True, true…only this time, they looked like they wanted to eat him."  
  
"Ohhh…" Before Relena could say more, Trowa walked into the room wearing his boxers on his head…and nothing else. The girls took it all in his stride.  
  
"Hi, Relena, Dorothy. I'm knackered." With that, Trowa plopped himself down between Dorothy and Relena. "I've been looking everywhere from some clothes but the only thing I've found is this head warmer."  
  
Dorothy and Relena definitely didn't have the heart to tell him the truth so they all just sat there contemplating. Well actually, Dorothy was trying not to think of 'The Days of the Beautiful' and how good a swimsuit model Trowa would be, while Relena thought of Duo being naked with pink bunnies and how good a swimsuit model he would be. Trowa was really contemplating (I don't know what though).  
  
"Uh, Rel, Dor, Tro?" Hilde somehow materialized on the couch next to them, and didn't for the life of her know why she was shortening their names. "Where am I?"  
  
"You're in a QWxDC fic." Answered the three sitting on the opposite couch.  
  
"Oh! Ok." And that was the end of that conversation.  
  
Quatre wondered why he had popped up in this house all of a sudden. He was supposed to be in JtML crying about Dorothy but now he was here.   
  
A little neon sign lit up. "You are in a QWxDC fic." Quatre read out loud. Oh ok, that explains the yellow décor and why he had a sudden need to rip Dorothy's clothes off.  
  
"Where is she?" He liked talking to himself since nobody answered back at him. The sooner they got this fic out of the way, the sooner he could go back to being depressed in JtML.   
  
"Quatre? Damn it, help me will you!" Heero death glared the blond but he just laughed at him.  
  
Still laughing, "What are you doing in a sheep costume?" Quatre tried to find a zip but couldn't see one. "There's no zip."  
  
Heero growled at Quatre's blondness. "I know there's no zip! Find a pair of scissors and cut me out!"  
  
Another neon sign popped up, 'There are no scissors in this house.'  
  
"Well, you read the sign, Heero. Sorry buddy."  
  
Another growl and Heero sounded like a wolf in sheep's clothing…which he was, technically. He stalked away before the author could realize she had made a pun or something.  
  
Midii walked in just as Heero walked out. She decided against asking, and just threw herself at Quatre, kissing him passionately.  
  
"Hey! Wait a minute, Midii! Can't you read the sign??" Quatre pointed to the bright neon sign, feeling rather silly since Midii was scantily dressed and he shouldn't have stopped a good thing.  
  
Midii stared at the 'I'm in a QWxDC fic' sign, and sighed. "Oh. I just thought it wasn't since Trowa's naked with Rel, Dor and Hil downstairs."  
  
"Really? Are you sure? Maybe he was wearing his boxers."  
  
"On his head." Midii supplied. "So can we just turn this into a QWxMU fic instead? I haven't got all day, I have other fics to be in, other people to do!"  
  
"Hey! I'm busy too, you know! And those neon signs never lie! I have to be with Dorothy!" With that, Quatre grabbed her hand and dragged her downstairs to where an orgy was supposedly taking place.  
  
"Peanuts."  
  
Everyone turned to see Wufei muttering, as he walked into the room where the TV was still playing soaps.  
  
"I don't get it." Hilde uttered her next line, reading from a neat little script book in size 14.  
  
"I can't take it anymore!" Dorothy yelled and yanked off the boxers on Trowa's head. Throwing them out the window, she sighed in relief. "There! Much better!"  
  
Trowa looked stunned. "My head warmer!" Prompting him to jump up and lean over the window sill to watch his boxers float downwards like a plastic bag caught in an updrift.  
  
Four pairs of eyes simultaneously looked at his backside. Wufei wondered why there were never any good 3x5 stories out there.  
  
"Hey! There you are!" Quatre had just walked in with a barely dressed Midii, who promptly shoved Trowa out the window and followed him down.   
  
"Well that was weird." Quatre shook his head and grabbed Dorothy off the couch. "C'mon. The neon sign said this is a QWxDC fic. Lets get it on."  
  
They vanished in a puff of red smoke (why red? Just cos). Heero walked in and Relena whacked him on the head with her sheep-herding stick.  
  
"There you are! I thought she'd killed you and made you a vampire!" Relena didn't seem to mind that Heero was glued to a sheep costume. She was dressed like Little Bo Peep. Heero noticed her choice of dress and decided that the stick would have to go but the micro mini with frills would stay. They vanished in a puff of cream.  
  
Wufei looked at Hilde and realized he needed to get out of there before the deranged person writing this put him together with her. He decided to take his chances with the swords in the hallway. He didn't make it (the baka).  
  
Hilde looked miffed. What the hell had just happened??! Where was Duo? A pink bunny hopped onto her lap. "Oh, how cute!" She petted it, not realizing the blood matted its fur and the long brown hairs in its mouth.  
  
Somewhere on J.B's computer, J.A. silently uploads this to ff.net. BUHAHAHAHA, now the world will know my sister's insanity!!! She vanishes in a puff of ice-cream.  
  
Seriously. She did!  
  
The end…  
  
*cries*  
  
sorry to who ever just read this insanity.  
  
I really really need a break from uni!! I'm braindead with massive writer's block. Yea! -_-   
  
Well…back to studying…*wallows in self pity* 


End file.
